Game Night_

Questions and circles, round you go. Wrong or right, you're still not here. You said it would be short. I believed you, like so many times before. I give you chance after chance to follow through, to do what you say you will. You pushed it back. Again and again. Your precious questions are more important than my impending demise.

It's not just you, either. I'm always "too nice". "Too this or too that". Fear of someone more than you is not a reason to run from a relationship. I'm not given a chance because, "you're too good for me", they tell me. I'm not "too good" for anyone. Chances are something I'd like to take, and maybe someday, someone will let me take one and not run away from me.

Priorities might need some time to be worked out, but you'd think that people would make the easy choices without taking time for them. We have an opportunity to make the right decision in every situation. Right and wrong is irrelevant in this sense. It's different for everyone, but I think it really shows your priorities. What you deem most important is the decision you're going to make -- whether or not other people view it as right or wrong doesn't matter, it's right to you. It's a double edged sword, though, because while you're playing your game, making the decision to not be here, you're showing me that you're game is more important to you than I am.

I'm not going to tell you that's okay, because it's not. I'm going to tell you it's okay because I learn more about you every time you do this. You follow through when it involves something you want or need. You flake out when it's something for me. I'm learning to be okay with it, but for now, I'm not. I shouldn't be.

I hope you won, because at least you won't have lost everything tonight.